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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23695987">Nightmare</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dream_Traveler_Kirvee/pseuds/Dream_Traveler_Kirvee'>Dream_Traveler_Kirvee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Demon Story Excerpts and Side Stories [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Blood, Gen, Nightmares, POV First Person, PTSD, vague description of violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:08:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,160</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23695987</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dream_Traveler_Kirvee/pseuds/Dream_Traveler_Kirvee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zeev suffers from nightmares every night.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Demon Story Excerpts and Side Stories [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1223897</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nightmare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a small piece I wrote in Creative Writing. Zeev suffers from PTSD as a result of all the shit he's been through, but particularly because of what happened with his little sister Aria in the side story "Shattered Night" (which can be read on my Tumblr @ guardianoftime, though not strictly required to read before this...).</p>
<p>As a result, he has nightmares almost every night to varying degrees of severity. This is an attempt to look at what a typical nightmare of his might look like and the aftermath he usually goes through out of anxious habit.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I awaken to darkness and know exactly where I am. A void of misery that greets me every night as if it knows me. Sometimes I’m brought here soon after falling asleep, other times I’ll have been asleep for a while. It doesn’t fucking matter when I come here, only that it’s the same damn thing every time.</p>
<p>I always start standing in the void, nothing around me as far as I can see. The first few times I found myself here I made the mistake of turning around. Not this fucking time. I’ve had this dream often enough that I know it like the back of my hand. It’s been a few moments now. Three…two…one…</p>
<p>“Zeev!” The call comes from behind me and I instantly tense up, bracing for the impact against my back as her small arms wrap around me.</p>
<p>It’s the same damn thing every time. It had been just her at first, but over time it became all of them, at different times and nights. Last night, it was the newest face on the list—can’t remember his name since we barely had time to know him. But tonight? Tonight…it’s Aria. The first one I ever killed.</p>
<p>My hands clench into fists as I resist the urge to acknowledge her. I learned a long time ago that looking at or acknowledging them will always make the dream become worse. But damn if it doesn’t make it hard not to. I made the mistake of looking far too many times when I was younger. I won’t make that mistake again. Not this time!</p>
<p>The size difference between us now—where she’d once come up to my chest is now my waist—is just a painful reminder that this isn’t my Aria. This is a phantom born in this fucking place to haunt me for the rest of my life. I fucking deserve it, I know. She didn’t need to die. None of them should’ve died. But, it was necessary. Doesn’t mean I’m happy about it, though.</p>
<p>She must’ve grown impatient because suddenly she’s moving to be in front of me and I barely have time to shut my eyes to avoid looking at her. I can feel her small hands grabbing at the front of my shirt, something she used to do when she wanted attention or comfort. Now, she was doing it to try and make me look at her. Nice try.</p>
<p>“Zeev, I missed you so much! Don’t you want to see me again?” She says, tugging at my shirt.</p>
<p>Of course I do! Every day of my life since I had to bury her! But this isn’t her. If this were the real Aria, she wouldn’t be missing me at all. She should be hating me, the one who killed her.</p>
<p>This place knows how to tug and tear at your emotions. It sniffs out weakness the moment you show any sign of it, so I can’t give in. I know the dream only ends when I let it play its course, but fuck if I’m not going to spite it for as long as I can. I’m doing pretty well so far, all things considered. And then she whines.</p>
<p>“Zeeeev, won’t you please look at me? It’s lonely here, you know…”</p>
<p>Her voice has that sad pleading tone to it that makes me imagine her ears being dropped back against her head, the way they normally did whenever she was sad. My resolve starts to break and I crack open one eye to look down at her.</p>
<p>Just like always, she’s the picture of how she was the day before the night I killed her. Barely eleven years old, long black hair in a braid that took me at least a year to figure out how to do, and small wolf ears that now sat upright as she noted my acknowledgement. Her brown eyes blinked up at me before her whole face broke out into a smile and I knew immediately that I fucked up.</p>
<p>Blood began to drip down from somewhere on the top of her head and was making its way down the front of her smiling face.</p>
<p>“You finally looked at me…” Fuck. It was happening.</p>
<p>Her eyes started to dim, the way they had occasionally before that night. Her hands were no longer holding my shirt.</p>
<p>“Why, Zeev? Why did you kill me? You knew it was me. Why? Why?”</p>
<p>The problem with acknowledging the phantom is that once you let the fucker in, it doesn’t give you a way out. I couldn’t look away or close my eyes or even answer.</p>
<p>Seconds later she screamed, a blood curdling scream that I’ve come to expect, despite the way it still hurts. The cause of the scream is large claw slashes ripping across her chest and face and arms, bringing forth more blood. I know those wounds because they’re the ones I inflicted on her, all those years ago. My chest burns with each slash that appears.</p>
<p>“Why? Why? Why?” echoes in my ears despite the fact she’s not speaking anymore. Everything turns red…</p>
<p>And I wake up gasping for breath. It’s dark here too, but it doesn’t take me long to register the rock ceiling above me. The heavy feeling of my chest makes it hard to catch my breath, so I sit up.</p>
<p>Now that I can breathe again I sigh heavily, wiping at my eyes and forehead with my arm. Cold sweat. Awesome. Just another typical night.</p>
<p>I could go back to sleep—or attempt to—but there’s a stupid knot in my stomach telling me to do something else. I lie back down anyway and turn on my side. Trying to find the blanket I’d kicked off would be pointless, since it’d likely just end up the same way again.</p>
<p>Nope, the nagging feeling is still there. Guess I’ll have to do this too. Ugh. Clicking my tongue, I roll back over and stand up, stumbling to the opening of my room and making my way down the tunnel.</p>
<p>It’s just a precaution. Nothing will have changed. They’ll all still be there. I tell myself these things, but knowing something and seeing to it yourself are two different things. When I finally make it down to where everyone else sleeps I peek into both rooms. Predictably, everyone’s still fast asleep.</p>
<p>Everyone except Roz, who’s staring at me from over the side of her hanging bed. Figures. Of course she would’ve heard me. I can only somewhat see the faint light of her eyes in the dark, but she’s looking at me with worried concern.</p>
<p>I got what I came here to get, so I wave off her concern and turn to head back to my room. All heads were accounted for, so the knot in my stomach finally fucks off. Maybe now I can get some sleep.</p>
<p>At least, until the next nightmare.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In case you're wondering, the way the Rebel Group have their cave set up is that boys sleep in one room and girls sleep in the other room and then Zeev has his own room way the fuck away from the rest of them. Because he'd rather suffer his nightmares alone and not bother anyone else with it.</p>
<p>This piece originally written between October and December 2017.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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